July 29, 2004

First Ladies

There in the midst of the raucous ambiance of the big political convention up in Boston this week, it suddenly appears that First Ladies may finally be becoming First Women. And it’s about time.

“Lady” — and “gentleman” — are terms presumptuous to a fault, anyway, but lady often seems especially a manipulative putdown only once removed from the vapors and the fainting couch. Maybe this apparent and refreshing change will be one more step — and a big one, at that — toward a sensible parity more consistent with this “perfect union” that our country’s supposed to be about.

For example, it’s time men quit assuming the know-it-all privilege of making all the laws and other decisions about women [and about marriage and about wars] in which women have little or no voice, but only an excessive and inordinate burden. Some want and some fear this to mean that women should become more like men, but this is to take it all in the wrong direction.

What we truly need is for men to become more like women, to join in the nourishing and the caring, the compassion and the strength that is of the essence of a vital family, of an inclusive society, and of wholesome community in general.

If we’re uncomfortable with a woman telling a nosey reporter to “shove it,” maybe we might quit talking that way ourselves or, simply, just get a life.

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[Mea culpa: A dear friend and professional bassist has gently informed me that the story about violinist Itzhak Perlman reported in a recent OoN, as lovely and homiletically useful as it might be, was merely an urban legend.

For another and surely more accurate perspective, please see “Three Strings and You’re Outre” at ]

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