August 16, 2005
Ultimayhem
Just so you’ll know that I didn’t ask for it or, heaven knows, pay for it, my laptop came equipped already with a diversionary tactic whose name has a rather teleological ring, maybe even rapture to it. It’s called “Eric’s Ultimate Solitaire.” Its goofy little elfin icon is always at the ready on my desktop. So when the muse wanders off (as may be more noticeable at some times than others), I can apply my out-of-reach creative skills and double-click my old pal Ultimate.
Unfortunately, and as a something less than comforting symbol of this techie age, the game reveals one’s stats. Currently, I’ve played 629 games for a total of 48 hours — two whole days of the rest of my life! — (and that’s just since my last computer crash when the counter goes back to zero). I’ve won only 52 times, a striking record of 8.2%.
My current “streak” is four losses, my best is two consecutive wins, and my worst losing streak is 57. My quickest win was 00:04:26, and my average time is 00:04:35 which suggests that Ultimate’s stats are not all that trustworthy.
Of course, you’re right. Like our culture’s currently rampant malady, it’s all about power and addiction. I don’t really have to “play” this “game,” be assured, but I’ll be accursed if I’m going use the Twelve Steps for everything.