April 8, 2008
Sects
Back during the Precambrian when I was in seminary, we were advised to be wary of couples wanting to marry and who were from different sects. In those days, a same sects couple was always to be preferred.
The rubrics in the Marriage Office were cognizant of this and of some help. If when maybe not just different sects, but whole different religions showed up, you could actually bless the couple in the name of God instead of in the name of the Trinity. This worked very well when a Unitarian was involved. Others never seemed even to notice. But actually and at times like that, I often felt that God was a lot closer, if maybe not all that understanding.
Now that I am out of seminary for some considerable years, it’s a lot different. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Same sects marriages are out altogether, and different sects marriages are in. In fact, they’re usually the only kind the canons will allow.
My problem is how to find out from the couple. It takes some considerable political correctness and tact just to ask those sorts of questions, let alone to discuss their implications. People just want to get married. They frequently ask, What has sects got to do with it? When I try to explain, they realize that I, who am supposed to know about such things, haven’t got much to say at all. It’s really embarrassing when I say I’ll have to ask the bishop, for I’d rather they’d think I’m in charge and not merely confirming for them another dippy clergy stereotype.
At one stage along the way and finally having more of these situations than I cared for, I thought it would be pastorally thoughtful to institute a new youth program. It would be one that would maybe help young people be better prepared when or if they decided to be married or even if they didn’t. We called the program a Seminar in Safe Sects. Unfortunately, it was not at all successful. For when the vestry heard about it, it never even got started.
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