June 6, 2008
Airplanes
The airplanes have started charging for check-through baggage and have simultaneously even stopped serving pretzels. A cartoonist the other day showed them charging for drop-down oxygen masks. Past them I would not it put.
All this together with delayed flights has become a way of life. Charging for shipping has increased the number of carry-ons. With more baggage now scattered around, one dare not leave anything unattended for fear of Homeland Securities’ insecurely collecting them along with trashing all our over-three-and-a-half-ounce treasures. This makes the layovers even more frustrating, the missed appointments and connections even more expensive, and the tempers even shorter.
Maybe we ought to rebel. Our local postal office used to offer a free first-class stamp for anybody who had to wait in line for service more than five minutes. When the postage went up last time, they stopped all over and instead bought 250,000 new “Next Window Please” signs with the profit. So a lot of the snailmailers became e-mailers. Maybe we could organize an opposition group, something like TRIF, The Revenge of the InFrequent Flyers.
On the other hand, the president thinks we’re addicted, and he’s probably right. Maybe we’re too hooked to fight back. If that’s the case, then the Middle East is just enabling our codependency all the while and would probably ban even AlAnon as a CIA plot against unknown Muslims.
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